Arg! x_x First panel ruins the dramatic moment from the last one! You’re technically making a double suspense moment. When you say “I think you know where to…” and then have a picture of swoop, if the reader didn’t understand the implications from the dream sequence, the graphics themselves should give it away if you just make the first panel as is without the narrative box. As is, it’s sort of just a captain obvious moment and the ‘…’ didn’t really need any more introduction. Now, what would make this panel work as is would be if Max said something along the lines of “No, I don’t actually.” Because as it stands now, if I were to write the sentence out it would be “I think you know where to…we’re off to find Swoop”, instead of “I think you know where to…” [dun dun dun] “Swoop!” Unless the Prof P. Puff is the sort of guy to do that sort of thing, then ignore all this.
On a more positive note, panel eleven = Best character meeting ever! I saw that panel even before I started reading the page and just had to laugh, I couldn’t help it.
Also, is the shop called Gelateria? I don’t know why I find that name so amusing, but is that what they call a gelato shop?
I have to agree with Shane on the narrative apresiation.
It does not mean i dont love OSF, cause i realy do
and i love all your caracters too ^^
till next week!
Shane, you’re like my unofficial editor…. dunno how many times you’ve made me reupload things! Thanks for the feedback. I totally agree, though I still wanted some kind of dialog from the previous week to continue…. I wanted a dun dun dun moment too…. so what better way to do it than to actually have Max singing dun dun dun?
And yeah, gelateria is the Italian word for a gelato shop.
Anuelab - No need to soften the blow, definitely feel free to tell me what is or isn’t working. I appreciate the kind words though!
Watanabe - My favorite face too. I really wanted to get that one right, glad it worked!
Heheh, okay that’s fair enough and it IS within Max’s character it seems. =D Although, now I get this amusing image of Swoop agreeing with Prof. P. Puff for Max to “stow it.”
Just wanted to say that i’ve been digging the comics so far. This one especially, since I can totally relate and say that i’ve been in the same situation far too often
Okay, so I just read everything you’ve gotten so far, and I have to say I love the style you have going. Was pulled into the story from panel one, which is pretty darn rare for me.
New reader here; I just wanted to say how much I love your strip so far. The artwork is warm and captivating, and I can’t wait to see how things pan out for your characters. Keep it going!
P.S. I thought the ‘dun dun dun’ exchange was funny….
Johnny, it’s good to see you here. Glad you’re enjoying the comic!
MBase, and everyone else stopping by from vgcats. Welcome!
AHIW - Thanks so much for the kind words. I’m very happy to see the warmth of the comic is reaching through (you never can tell when working on these things all alone for hours on end!). I’m very excited to see how things pan out as well.
October 15th, 2008 at 9:09 am
awwwww, lol this is great, i love the face in panel 11
October 15th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Arg! x_x First panel ruins the dramatic moment from the last one! You’re technically making a double suspense moment. When you say “I think you know where to…” and then have a picture of swoop, if the reader didn’t understand the implications from the dream sequence, the graphics themselves should give it away if you just make the first panel as is without the narrative box. As is, it’s sort of just a captain obvious moment and the ‘…’ didn’t really need any more introduction. Now, what would make this panel work as is would be if Max said something along the lines of “No, I don’t actually.” Because as it stands now, if I were to write the sentence out it would be “I think you know where to…we’re off to find Swoop”, instead of “I think you know where to…” [dun dun dun] “Swoop!” Unless the Prof P. Puff is the sort of guy to do that sort of thing, then ignore all this.
On a more positive note, panel eleven = Best character meeting ever! I saw that panel even before I started reading the page and just had to laugh, I couldn’t help it.
Also, is the shop called Gelateria? I don’t know why I find that name so amusing, but is that what they call a gelato shop?
October 15th, 2008 at 11:01 am
I have to agree with Shane on the narrative apresiation.
It does not mean i dont love OSF, cause i realy do
and i love all your caracters too ^^
till next week!
October 15th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Shane, you’re like my unofficial editor…. dunno how many times you’ve made me reupload things! Thanks for the feedback. I totally agree, though I still wanted some kind of dialog from the previous week to continue…. I wanted a dun dun dun moment too…. so what better way to do it than to actually have Max singing dun dun dun?
And yeah, gelateria is the Italian word for a gelato shop.
Anuelab - No need to soften the blow, definitely feel free to tell me what is or isn’t working.
I appreciate the kind words though!
Watanabe - My favorite face too.
I really wanted to get that one right, glad it worked!
October 15th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Heheh, okay that’s fair enough and it IS within Max’s character it seems. =D Although, now I get this amusing image of Swoop agreeing with Prof. P. Puff for Max to “stow it.”
October 16th, 2008 at 1:33 am
Just wanted to say that i’ve been digging the comics so far. This one especially, since I can totally relate and say that i’ve been in the same situation far too often
October 16th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Okay, so I just read everything you’ve gotten so far, and I have to say I love the style you have going. Was pulled into the story from panel one, which is pretty darn rare for me.
Needless to say… *adds to favorites.*
October 17th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
New reader here; I just wanted to say how much I love your strip so far. The artwork is warm and captivating, and I can’t wait to see how things pan out for your characters. Keep it going!
P.S. I thought the ‘dun dun dun’ exchange was funny….
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Johnny, it’s good to see you here.
Glad you’re enjoying the comic!
MBase, and everyone else stopping by from vgcats. Welcome!
AHIW - Thanks so much for the kind words. I’m very happy to see the warmth of the comic is reaching through (you never can tell when working on these things all alone for hours on end!). I’m very excited to see how things pan out as well.
May 21st, 2009 at 7:00 am
Could it be love at first sight?